(North) Americans have a Brazilian complex. And why wouldn't we? Brazil is amazing: The people, the food, the scenery, the sports.
We try to be brave and wear scandalocious bikinis like Brazilians. We get our cooters waxed like Brazilians. We fantasize about having our own Brazilian man-candy a-la Madonna (meow). We gorge ourselves on all-you-can-eat meat at Brazilian Churrascarias (now making it impossible to wear the bikini). We can't help but stare enviously at the perfect booties and long, flowing hair of Brazilian Victoria Secret models in their stupidly wasteful weekly catalogs. We get Brazilian blow-outs to our now long hair. We wish our soccer team (and fan base) was as good as theirs.
Maybe it's just me who has this complex (I still refuse to get the full wax-job). But damn, Brazilians are the coolest, and the hottest.
Whenever I visit a new place, I want to blend in seamlessly. Not too hard for a 5'4" brunette to do, right? I had the opportunity to visit Porto Alegre and São Paulo, Brazil last month for work. What did I learn? That I will never, ever have the ability to be Brazilian. Not even fake it. And here's why:
My ass. It will never, ever look like this or FIT on this.
We try to be brave and wear scandalocious bikinis like Brazilians. We get our cooters waxed like Brazilians. We fantasize about having our own Brazilian man-candy a-la Madonna (meow). We gorge ourselves on all-you-can-eat meat at Brazilian Churrascarias (now making it impossible to wear the bikini). We can't help but stare enviously at the perfect booties and long, flowing hair of Brazilian Victoria Secret models in their stupidly wasteful weekly catalogs. We get Brazilian blow-outs to our now long hair. We wish our soccer team (and fan base) was as good as theirs.
Maybe it's just me who has this complex (I still refuse to get the full wax-job). But damn, Brazilians are the coolest, and the hottest.
Whenever I visit a new place, I want to blend in seamlessly. Not too hard for a 5'4" brunette to do, right? I had the opportunity to visit Porto Alegre and São Paulo, Brazil last month for work. What did I learn? That I will never, ever have the ability to be Brazilian. Not even fake it. And here's why:
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| Brazilian Toilet Seat Cover |